Haole...The Final Chapter.

Kinda like the Jason Friday the 13th series...hehe

Wednesday-9/5

Booked a trip to Lanai’i through Maui Adventures, Lanai’i Explorer that included the landing at Manele Bay Harbor. Very fun boat ride with a great 2 man crew. Nicest guys you’ll ever meet. Breakfast and lunch was plentiful with some great selections, but mostly packaged snacks other than the croissant sandwiches. Stopped and snorkeled for about an hour or so, gear was marginal at best, and if you are blessed with a large melon such as mine (you know what they say about big heads) then the fit of their gear will leave something to be desired. I spent 15min on the boat gearing up while everyone else was in the water and I was not happy. Crew didn’t seem too excited about remedying the situation either. After snorkeling there, we picked up and docked at the harbor, and had 3 hours to explore the island. Capt. advised to not snorkel at the beach because of the shore break, but that we could if we wanted to. Since Julie is not a water person/snorkeler I declined to bring gear. Our mistake! Folks from the Trilogy cruise were snorkeling and had some interaction with the dolphins frolicking in the bay! Dang. We checked out the 4 seasons…ho hum….who books a vacation where you sit by the pool all day? Boarded the boat back to Lahaina and got some spray in the face for about 2/3 the trip back, fun, except for the poor woman that was getting doused with every drop of the hull. On the plus side, it did prompt her to remove her beach cover and ride along in her bikini, fake boobies on bounce, booya! (Hey, I’m a guy….) I can say that the guys running this boat were cool, even though they weren’t too concerned about my gear problem. As much as I’d love to rave about the trip, it was only O.K. and I’d probably do a snorkel only on Lanai’i for next time, and I’d bring my own gear (purchased/fitted here). I really like to support the little guy, and I’m doing my best to help here but just can’t give the full gold seal. The trip took a lot out of us, so we just wanted to stay local for dinner and relax around the hotel. Went to Leilanis for dinner and was promptly seated next to the wait staff beverage station. After a 15 min wait, we were re-seated along the walkway with a great little view of the beach and the passersby. I decided to try Leilanis burger and it met standards for a normal restaurant burger, Julie had the Ono fish and chips (she loves fish-n-chips) and raved about them here. She was split between Fish Market ones and these, couldn’t say which was better. Had a few dukes blonde ales and headed back to the room.

Thursday-9/6

Snorkel time from the beach. Headed down toward La Perouse and parked at the beginning of the lava flow. Ahihi cove or the “dumps” as the locals call it. 2 naturists were there for info and I asked about fishbowl. Got the lowdown and decided the dumps would be fine. Today was the day I was going to ease (read: FORCE) Julie to snorkel with me! Hand in hand we waded out to just above waist deep. Got our gear on, and checked the seals, started slow, breathe through the tube…good….stick your face down in the water…good…don’t hold so tight, my arms going numb…good. And then fate reared its ugly head. I had positioned myself with a rock ledge to my left and Julie to my right. With nowhere to go, and our faces in the water for about 3 seconds…..here it came, a 4 foot bright orange EEL…straight at me! Now had I been horizontal on top of the water, no problem, it swims right under me, but this thing was coming for me, it had eyes for my kneecaps and was going to make quick work of them just like the guys head in Peter Benchley’s “The Deep”. I quickly, out of instinct, decided to step aside and let it pass, which was immediately mistook for “If Jay’s scared, I’m getting the fook outta here!” So with Julie safely 100yards inland (that eel would be able to get her in about 3 million years after it evolves legs!) I roamed the dumps and saw some incredible fish. We decided to give Little Beach another shot, more of the same as Sunday to a lesser degree. Julie was comfortable enough this time to bare it all and actually got into the water for a quick dip up to her waist. We sunned our buns for about an hour or so, and then hit Jawz on the way out. GREAT fish tacos, but a little puzzling for a Wahoos guy...after soiling my shirt, the car, my shorts, all while trying to drive, I figured out they were rolled end-to-end! Julie had less of a problem as she watched the first monkey fail and then learned from him. I was beginning to feel iron deficient and we had seen an Outback Steakhouse in Kapalua so we went there for dinner. I think we just wanted something we could count on, so the chain restaurant fit the bill.

Friday-9/7 Aloha Day :(

Went to Tropica at the Westin for a mediocre breakfast, just wanted to try the Mac Pancakes with coconut syrup and was disappointed. I should have made a special trip to one of the recommendations here at TA, but I’ll have something to do next time. Spent some pool time and got playful with the last exposures of the underwater camera. Julie does not care for my new screen saver, she swims a little bowlegged, and now I have proof. Checked out and headed toward Kahului and Wailuka. We made a stop at the Iao needle, I thought it was going to be more than it was and a farther hike, but you can practically drive right up to it. Still very cool to hear the stories of Kamehmeha and think of the battles in this beautiful land, such contrast. Picked up souvenirs at wal-mart and headed to the airport for our 9pm red-eye back to the mainland. Aloha spirit died 20min into the flight as I gently reclined my seat and was met with a punch to the back of the headrest. You could have heard a pin drop after I turned around and said to the woman that did it “The next time you do something like that I’m going to kick HIS a$$” (pointed to her husband) and then said to him “better control her” She was in a huff but he was trying to calm her down. Julie was trying to control her laughter and that got me going and the 2 of us started busting up. I fell asleep but Julie had the Russian snorer from hell next to her and couldn’t catch a wink. I woke up with Aloha again, Julie was refreshed Saturday night after a day of sleep/lounging. I’m bringing my 12yo nephew next year, he’s a fish and will love it. Gotta keep those grades up though, that’s our deal. He gets a vacation every year he gets 3.5gpa or higher.

MANY thanks to all the great folks here at the Maui TA Forum. Our trip would not have been 1/10th as fun and fulfilling without your tips and secrets. Thank you so much from myself and my “silent” partner Julie. ALOHA!

Haole...The Final Chapter.

Enjoyable read, Freddie (Kruger..)! I%26#39;m happy that you spared the local wahine%26#39;s from a opening up a can of whoop a$$... heh!

Um... so are you going to play tight with the ';bowlegged swimmer'; photo%26#39;s link? Hey, your pals over here deserve a little entertainment too!!

Haole...The Final Chapter.

I need to know where to put them. I guess I could bucket or putfile, they are just sitting here ready to go. I%26#39;ll need to make sure I give them an MPAA rating of PG-13 for warning (sorry, that%26#39;s the highest rating I%26#39;ve been cleared by the talent to exhibit)

Glad you tried the Dumps. What a shocker to have an eel comin%26#39; up to you first time your girlfriend gets in to snorkel. I%26#39;ve only had one or two eel encounters and they are scary from 6 feet away, hiding behind a rock.

So what%26#39;s with the lady hitting the back of your seat? What%26#39;s up with that? I was expecting you to say that a 4 year old was kicking the back of the seat.

Next time you go, you should definitely rent a condo with separate bedroom for you and the nephew. With your own kitchen, you can make your own mediocre pancakes or buy a grande box of Fruit Loops at Costco. Actually, I think a 12 yo boy can put away a box-a-day of Fruit Loops. And no kickin%26#39; A$$ on the airplane next time.

Even Jules was shocked! The lady jammed that headrest real good, knocked my head forward about 4 inches. I think she figured the person wouldn%26#39;t do anything, I had my seatbelt unbuckled and I sprang up and around so quick I think it startled her. I was quick with the tongue lashing too, so she didn%26#39;t have much of a chance to argue before I sat back down. Funny thing, I looked for her after deplaning and I think maybe she only had carry-ons because I didn%26#39;t see her at the carousel

Loved reading your reports!

Thanks a lot for mentioning the eel! I%26#39;m a nervous snorkeler anyway, and now I have something else to worrry about. I%26#39;m always in a panic about any shadow in the water.

Too funny about your trip home. The lady had a lot of nerve to punch your headrest. Glad you took care of the problem. I hate when people get away with meaness! I%26#39;ve been kicked by kids many times, and also honeymooners!

Though I do not share this opinion, apparently some people think it%26#39;s incredibly rude to recline your airline seat. I actually started a thread a while back on the TA air travel forum on this topic because I was surprised that some people thought that reclining one%26#39;s seat was bad, and I was very surprised by the responses. Some people actually posted that they often deliberately jostled, hit and grabbed the headrests and seats of those who reclined into ';their space';. as a way of teaching the recliners a lesson, as if their behavior was any less ';rude'; than the recliners! That thread got a bit heated, and was removed, I believe, but it really surprised me. Go figure.

I agree lexigirl, if they didn%26#39;t want you to be able to recline the seats would not recline. The other peoples attitude probably comes from being squeezed into ever smaller spaces on flights in general but I don%26#39;t see any need to either kick a seat or jump out of a seat after being kicked....of course we always go to paradise in the front of the bus so we aren%26#39;t as jammed in.....but I have flown over a million miles and most that was in coach so I do understand the ';space'; issue...still, I have never objected to anyone reclining.

Great trip report. Sounds like you had loads of fun.

Ahihi cove and the ';dumps'; are two different places. The cove is right off the street. The ';dumps'; is just up the road with a very rocky parking lot, portable toilets and a little trail through lava to the rocky beach. So did you make it to the ';dumps';?

Ahihi cove was what was printed on the map, I assumed I was there, but your description fits my location to a T.

I understand about physical conditioning and I%26#39;m no Mr. Olympia, but the woman behind me could gain an extra 12 inches of room by acquainting herself with a treadmill or doing some Table-Push-Aways.

It was a red-eye that took off at 9pm Maui time. What the heck did the lady expect. I didn%26#39;t say squat when the woman in front of me reclined into my lap. I was going to ask if she wanted a neck rub and bedtime story!

Bill- You may have seen things differently had you been the recipient of this particularly violent blow to the back of the headrest. Had the headrest not been there, I could have easily filed an assault complaint. I don%26#39;t really fly off the handle, my actions were well warranted.